15-year-old Charlie Bone frowned as he packed his bags; he did not want to stay in London a second longer. His mother, Amy, had gotten married to a man named Hark Noble, and to give her some space, he was moving to Trilinocway, Scotland to stay with his father, Lyell.
“Charlie, are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” Amy asked him. She had been trying to get him to stay with her, but Charlie wasn’t having any of it. It wasn’t like he didn’t like Hark, but Charlie really wanted to be with his father.
“No mom,” said Charlie. “I need to be with dad. And besides, you got a new husband, why do you need me for?”
And with that, Charlie boarded the train and left London.
Lyell Bone was waiting for him at the Trilinocway Train Station. It had been nearly 14 years since his now former wife Amy Jones took Charlie and her mother and skipped town, saying she wanted nothing to do with his odd family. Griselda, Lyell’s mother, was very upset at the prospect of never seeing her grandson, and she pushed a man named Jason Ruderford to marry her youngest sister, Venetia Yewbeam. His family lived at the edge of town.
Charlie laughed as he jumped off the train and went to his father. “I see you made it,” said Lyell as he hugged his son. “How’s Amy and Maisie?”
“Mom got a new husband and Maisie’s being her usual self,” said Charlie.
“I see,” Lyell said as he and Charlie got into his truck and drove home. Although he had originally wanted to press Charlie for more information regarding Amy’s second marriage, Lyell felt that now wasn’t the time or the place to do so. he would have plenty of chances to ask later.
“So, are grandma, Aunt Lucretia, Aunt Eustacia, Aunt Venetia, and Uncle Paton still living in our old house?” Charlie asked, glad to change the subject. He too didn’t want to discuss his mother’s remarriage for obvious reasons.
“Everyone’s there waiting for you,” said Lyell. He knew that his mother and aunts were looking forward to seeing Charlie again, but he wasn’t too sure about how his uncle would react. After all, Paton was angry with him for not fighting for custody of Charlie during the divorce.
Grizelda Bone had the house cleaned in anticipation of Charlie’s return; she was the oldest scion of the Yewbeam family. The Yewbeams were an ancient and powerful family, claiming descent from the mysterious Red King, and (with a few exceptions) most of the family were endowed with special powers. Grizelda wasn’t too pleased when she discovered that her only son had married a woman who apparently had no powers and an ordinary lineage. She hoped that Charlie could somehow develop an endowment.
Just then, Lyell’s truck pulled up in the driveway. That could only mean one thing: Charlie Bone was coming home.
(and so begins the messed-up Charlie Bone/Twilight mashup)